Emotional and Psychological Abuse

According to Lifeline Australia, there are many forms of abuse that fall under the category of Domestic and Family Violence. Emotional and Psychological abuse are non-physical forms of control used to isolate and manipulate a person that can be equally as traumatising as physical abuse. Family violence and abuse can happen to anyone irrespective of who they are, where they come from, their age or whether they’re male or female.

Various types of abuse

• Physical harm – actual harm, threats to physically harm themselves or to another, smashing items, hurting children and pets.
• Emotional and psychological abuse – put downs, humiliation and blaming.
• Spiritual or cultural abuse – controlling another’s choices & practices.
• Financial abuse – holding back on finances and strict, unfair control of money.
• Sexual abuse – forcing oneself without permission onto another – rape
• Verbal abuse – yelling, name calling and insulting.
• Social abuse – monitoring and controlling where you go and who you socialise with.
• Stalking – following, texting, emailing and making excessive phone calls.

What is Emotional Abuse?

According to the Australia Bureau of Statistics, “Emotional abuse is defined as abuse that occurs when a person is subjected to behaviours or actions (often repeatedly) aimed at preventing or controlling their behaviour, with the intent to cause them emotional harm or fear through manipulation, isolation or intimidation.”

Often this type of behaviour uses deceit to control and achieve the desired goal. It’s not about drugs, genetics, alcohol, biology, stress or out of control behaviour. The emotional abuser may be in
complete control of their anger. It’s all about having dominance, power and control over the other person.

Examples Of Emotional Abusive Behaviour

• Ceasing or attempting to stop their partner from contacting and seeing family or friends.
• Steady abuse aimed to make their partner feel ashamed, deprecated alternately embarrassed, belittled & humiliated.
• Turning children against their partner and lying to them about the other parent.
• Monitoring, spying on and following their partner to continually know where they are.
• Emotional Blackmail – uses obligation and guilt to control.
• Depriving partner of basic needs like food or sleep.
• Controlling access to employment, study or household money.
• Threatening to harm themselves, others, kids or pets.

Emotionally Abused Women In Christian Marriages

The whole topic of emotional abuse can be a grey area for committed Christians who believe in the sanctity of marriage. Especially in the case of Christian women who believe that they must submit to their husbands. Even the abusive ones.

According to Christianity Today, most church leaders will encourage a person to remove themselves from a violent situation. However, in the case of emotional abuse, leaders aren’t sure whether in the situation of non-violent forms of abuse, if it’s worthwhile for the woman to remove herself from the situation and will offer the advice of “pray about it and submit.”

Emotional Abuse Against Children

In Australia both men and women report emotional abuse. Emotional abuse against children includes verbal abuse, exposure to domestic violence, terrorising, isolating, ignoring and rejecting them.
Fear and anxiety is experienced by those who have been subjected to emotional abuse.

The Effects Of Emotional Abuse On Children

In an excerpt from Act for Kids, “The effects of child abuse and neglect can be significant and lead to lifelong problems. It can impact a child’s brain development, how they feel and think about themselves, how successful they are at school, even their physical development and skills. In the long term it can lead to drug and alcohol abuse, mental illness, difficulty developing and maintaining good relationships, unemployment and all sorts of social disadvantage – all due to their childhood experiences, and not their fault.”

Where to get help

Seek help for emotional abuse. Talk to your doctor, your pastor and seek the help of a mental health professional.

Where to get help

Search for a counsellor near you – www.theaca.net.au
Men’s Line Australia – Talk it over with someone who understands – 1300 78 99 78 https://www.mensline.org.au/
Lifeline – A free 24 hour Crisis Counselling service – 13 11 14
https://www.lifeline.org.au/
Kids Help Line – 1800 55 1800 – http://kidshelpline.com.au/

Sources

Australia Bureau of Statistics – http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/Lookup/4102.0main+features602014
Christianity Today – http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/Lookup/4102.0main+features602014#Whatis
https://www.actforkids.com.au/child-abuse-and-neglect.html?gclid=COvw0_-GnMwCFc9ffgodIYMDCg